A MAJOR MILESTONE!
Well, here we are – not totally finished, but a MAJOR milestone achieved! We're all done with Chemo! Well, at least the nasty stuff (Taxotere and
Carboplatin). We started the first chemo
treatment on my birthday (yes, this is Justin writing this post), and ended
with the last treatment on Jill’s. Not
the ideal way to celebrate a birthday, however, certainly birthdays that
neither of us will forget anytime soon. Either
way – it was great to “ring the bell!”
Before I spend some time recounting the journey, I feel it
is necessary to say thank you to everyone for your love and constant support
for Jill, the kids and me. Without you,
the cancer treatment is just medicine.
All of YOU have made the treatment something that is healing to the body
and soul. I could write for hours about
each of you, so please forgive my brief and condensed “thank you.”
To my beautiful wife,
Jill – yep, I am thanking you. You’ve
inspired me every day. The way you’ve
faced this challenge and been an example to me and so many others, it is truly amazing. I wish every day that I could take your place
in this challenge…..I am so blessed that I can help you through it. It has truly made us grow even closer, and I
love you more every day. You are beautiful,
you are strong and I love you – always, always.
I am so grateful for our challenges, that we can face them
together. I am so grateful for our cute
kids – it gives me that much more of you, but in a totally different
version. They are wonderful.
To Frankie – I’ve told people, “the best
way to describe Frankie is a whole lot of Mother Teresa, and a little bit of
Rosa Parks”…..love with determination.
You’ve been so absolutely incredible to us – there isn’t a week in this
entire journey that doesn’t have your fingerprints on it – you’ve given Jill
and me so many reasons to smile. This
list can go on and on, but I will never be able to thank you enough for all
that you’ve done. I pray one day that we’ll
be to show the kind of charity you have shown us…..for the yummy dinners, for
the “Frankie Blankies” to Jill and Addi, for helping Jill with hair, for
opening up your home and loving family, for setting us up with Komen and Ann
Partridge, for being the most incredible boss, for the encouraging and loving
emails just when we needed it most. For
your family (here in Utah and those fighting a similar battle in California) and
their love – thank you. For learning
about the medicines and always asking questions we didn’t come up with, for all
of the advice, for all of the laughs and for all of the smiles. We love you very much.
To Jill’s family –
Thank you for being there – for reaching out to Jill and me and always showing
that you love and care. For all of the
dinners, support and watchful care for the kids. I’m not even sure Addi will remember just how
rough it was this summer – she’s had a pretty good couple of months because of
all of you. Even the extended family –
thank you Natalie for flying out and spending a few days after Jill’s fourth
treatment.
To my family –
Thank you for all of your support for Jill and the kids. Again, for the meals, texts, phone calls and
care for the kids. Mom – you especially
have been so truly amazing, doing all that you do on a daily basis and still
being the best Mom anyone could be blessed with. We love you all.
To our JetBlue family
– AMAZING. This goes way beyond a
company and values. We are so grateful
for each of you – you make JetBlue what it is, and there is nothing or nobody
else out there like you. For all of the
care packages, the books, the t-shirt days, the pictures, the meals, the cards
and letters of encouragement, the blankets – wow we have so many blankets! Nannette – not just Jill’s boss, an
incredible friend and (don’t get mad at me), mother to us both. We love you.
To the wolf-pack…yeah, you know who you are. For your constant support and love – you truly
are Jill’s sisters. To everyone who
helped make the video in prep for Jill’s last treatment – so touching and gave
her a dose of something you just can’t get in medicine. Incredible.
Julie and Janet – you are both so great – we love you both. To all of the JetBlue leadership, from
everyone in SSC and also those in New York – thank you for everything.
To our neighbors –
For constantly checking in on us, for the meals, and for your support to keep
our house from falling apart. Kelcy – to
you specifically – thank you so much. I
am so grateful for everything you’ve done and for your charity and friendship. For the time you spend with Addi and Carter –
for inviting them into your home and family.
Addi especially thanks you for the chocolate milk, cookies and other
forms of sugar J.
To everyone else –
THANK YOU. If you were part of Jill’s
cancer treatment team, someone in passing, or anyone that hasn’t been mentioned
above – thank you so much for your love and prayers.
Now for a quick timeline of events – what a
six month blur!
·
2/14 –
Valentine’s day. Addi hits her head on Jill’s chest, first notice of a lump. I still remember thinking it was nothing, and
not wanting Jill to be concerned about it
·
2/15 – Jill’s
28 week appointment. Her doctor recommends
we have it checked out – doubted it was anything beyond a clogged milk duct
·
2/16-2/17
– Ultrasound and biopsy. They knew
all along it was cancer at this point.
Ultrasound found the first lump which looked abnormal, and second lump
was found when they went to perform the biopsy.
At this point, I remember being in complete denial
·
2/21 –
Mammogram. Nothing official yet, but
getting closer to telling us. Recommended we setup an appointment to
see a surgeon “just in case.” Oh, how
bad you want them to be wrong.
·
2/24 –
Diagnosis day. I still remember we
agreed to go to work so we wouldn’t spend the day pacing at home. I was looking
at my phone every five minutes – going crazy.
We took the call from Frankie’s office and just cried when we heard the
results. It was unreal, and I’ll never
forget that moment. Telling our family
was just as hard, but we did it that night to start moving forward. The support from JetBlue was faster than
immediate and absolutely incredible.
·
2/29 – Dr
Rosenthal. This was our first time
meeting her – felt very uneasy around her – she just seemed like she was ready
to cut. Hearing her say that they may
consider chemo while Jill’s pregnant.
Are you crazy!
·
First
week of March – Cancer clinic. This was great information, but we just
weren’t ready for it – a round-table of doctors for Jill based on what had been
discovered. I’ll never forget, however,
the oncologist – Dr. Samuelson. He was
so incredibly insensitive and had no tact.
Watching him tell Jill her hair was going to fall out and then watching
his response (or lack of) to our response – just too bad. This was probably the hardest day.
·
3/5 – OB appt.
– Safe to say he was as shocked as we were.
He was incredible though – he collaborated with the surgeons and
oncologists and helped form a plan that he felt very comfortable with. Jill would be having surgery on 3/28, then
delivering on 4/18, then starting chemo on 5/8.
Incredible timing to say the least – a few weeks earlier and the
conversation about our little Carter would have been much different
·
3/7 – Dr.
Rosenthal. Back again we go – after having
a treatment plan set, making sure we’re all setup for appointments with her –
did the BRCA test this day as well (thank god it turned out normal)
·
That same
week – Dr. Chen. First time meeting Jill’s plastic surgeon. She was
fantastic, and gave Jill such great encouragement. We started getting more comfortable at this
point. I still remember, however, just
as we were leaving her office….another patient, who was visibly far into chemo
stumbled in looking very sickly and feeble.
This was very hard to see and Jill immediately became emotional.
·
3/19 –
Dr. Rosenthal. Frankie joined Jill
for this one – it was great to have her join, and I was stuck in some meetings
that were very challenging to reschedule.
That day, Jill tried on her first wig in Frankie’s office – I still
remember standing there amazed while she tried them on – the love, friendship
and support. I will never forget that
moment.
·
3/20 – 3/25
– Pre-surgery getaway. A quick trip
to San Diego, and then meet up with Addi and some family at Disneyland for a
few days. Lots of late night
conversations and a great pre-surgery prep.
This was SO helpful in getting Jill mentally ready. So grateful for this time. Pushing Jill around Disney in a wheelchair
was not easy though! She was near full
term, and it was hot outside! Addi loved
every minute of it.
·
3/27 –
day before surgery. JetBlue ordered “fight
like a girl shirts” and the entire leadership team was wearing them in support. They also put together some incredible care
packages for Jill, Addi and me.
·
3/28 –
the big day, surgery. This started
SO early, and we didn’t get any sleep the night before anyway. I remember laying by Jill the night before knowing
we were about to start the journey -
neither of us slept at all. She finally
got into surgery after 10AM, and wasn’t out until the early afternoon. The time in the waiting room seemed to last
forever. Tried to pass the time by
getting food, and keeping friends and family updated. Spoke to Frankie just after lunch and will
never forget the conversation. Ran up to
the Apple store to get Jill something to keep her from going nuts over the next
few months – a new iPad. We spent the
night so they could keep monitors on Carter and Jill – making sure that the
little guy didn’t want to make an early arrival. Dr. Chen and Rosenthal said she did great –
they only had to take out a few lymph nodes, but did not see invasion into
other areas.
·
3/29 – 4/3
initial recovery. Lots of pain
medication, and not a lot of sleep. This
was really tough, and hard to see Jill in pain.
JetBlue and our families were great – our entire table was covered in
flowers and we had meals to last for more than 10 days.
·
4/3 – Dr.
Chen. First post-surgery appointment with Dr. Chen. Everything looked great. Scheduled next tissue expansion for the
following week
·
4/10 –
Dr. Stinnett. Our first time meeting
Dr. Stinnett, our oncologist for the treatment plan. He was great with Jill, very personable and
knowledgeable. He also reached out to
Ann Partridge (Frankie helped us contact her) to align on the best treatment
plan for Jill. We scheduled our first
treatment for May 8th, and planned to go to chemo class.
·
4/11 –
Dr. Chen. First tissue expansion.
She did great, but WOW the pain!
Added over 100ml to the expander.
Pain meds were wonderful this night! Just one week away from the little guy
and everything was on track!
·
4/18 –
Carter’s arrival. The best day of the year for all of us. We got the hospital quite early and were in
our delivery room by 10AM. Jill’s
brother Todd was kind enough to bring up some Barbacoa to eat while we
waited. JetBlue also sent along some
flowers – thank you! Everything went
great. Carter was born at 6:54 PM,
weighing 6lb 13 oz. They initially measured
him at 18.5 inches, but his first week appointment showed him corrected at 20
inches. Friends and family visited us
that night and the next day, and “most” everything was great. A true blessing in the middle of everything.
·
4/26
(5/1) – Chemo class! We missed our first class – totally wrong schedule
issue. At least we got a night out
together! Chemo class is really not that
exciting trust me. A group of five of us
– three with cancer, and two spouses watched a VHS (yes, a VHS) video about
chemotherapy. The video was less than
impressive, but sparked good conversation about what drugs and other
supplements can be used to make life “normal” during the side effects of the main
chemo treatment. We met a great lady who
just found out she has stage III breast cancer.
She was planning her daughter’s wedding the weeks leading up to this,
and now had to plan around a heavy chemo regimen.
·
5/2 –
Addi’s big test. All the while, Addi had been struggling with urinary tract
infections – starting about the same time as Jill’s diagnosis. Major fevers, quickly onset, and way too many
antibiotics. She was tested this day for
kidney reflux, which tested positive.
She was so difficult, they had to give her an amnesiac – made her have
double vision and all. I felt horrible
for her, but will admit, it was a little funny listening to her be a little
loopy.
·
5/4 – Dr.
Chen. Second (and final) tissue
expansion before Chemo. Not as much
fluid, but still some very familiar pain.
Glad we were going into the weekend on this one – pain meds were a close
friend again.
·
5/8 –
First chemo treatment – Very scary – Jill had an allergic reaction to
Taxotere, and her heart rate fell to the high 30’s. We decided to try again the next day, which
is the normal course for those who have reactions to Taxotere.
·
5/9 –
First chemo treatment (let’s try that again) – Very scared as we went in
again, worrying that she’d have to face the “second best” treatment if she
couldn’t continue with Taxotere. Lots of
steroids and Benadryl before the dosage.
Her heart rate stayed in the low 40’s and we finished the day relieved,
but exhausted.
·
5/10 –
Neulasta shot – Following each treatment, we go in the next day for a
Neulasta shot – which helps your body produce more white blood cells. During vitals, Jill’s heart rate was in the
high 30’s – dangerously low. Oddly, she
didn’t feel faint and had plenty of energy given two days of chemo. We were sent to the cardiologist following
the appointment, a few hours later.
UGH! We sat in the Cardiologists
office for over 90 minutes, just to be told that they wanted us to head to the
Emergency Room so tests could be done and we could be seen by a real
doctor. So, we walked to the ER – when
we arrived, they were surprised Jill had the energy to even walk. Two hours, five x-rays, one Echo and one EKG
later – and nothing. Just go home and watch
for more symptoms. We searched the web
based on what drugs she was taking and initially concluded that the Intravenous
Zofran was the culprit.
·
5/12 –
Race for the cure – So determined, Jilly wasn’t going to miss this for
anything. She was still very puffy,
nauseated and tired – but that wasn’t stopping her. We drove downtown (with a few more thousand)
to support the Susan G. Komen race for the cure. It was a great event, and Jill had supporters
from our family, JetBlue and even quite a few from the neighborhood. It was very touching to us – we all sported
our “Jillybean” shirts and walked the mile in about 30 minutes – and had a
great time. Following the event, we
spent time with some very close friends – it was so healing.
·
5/15 –
Nadir. Following each treatment, we have a Nadir appointment about seven
days later – your “low” point to be tested and meet with the Oncologist. We agreed with Dr. Stinnett that we’d try a
different anti-nausea for round II. Just
one week in all so much adventure and stress already.
·
5/18 – Cardiologist. We’d had simply had enough – we were so
sick and tired of doctors, needles, and even the smell of the hospital. We weren’t going to find anything new, so we
called Dr. Stinnett who had an “appointment on our behalf” sharing everything
with the Cardiologist – thanks, Doc! He
said that there really isn’t anything else we should be digging for unless
there are more accompanied symptoms – shortness of breath, etc.
·
5/22 –
Time for the port. If there wasn’t enough poking and prodding, we spent the
day at IMC getting Jill’s port placed – another device made just for poking and
prodding. The surgery was fairly short,
but the doctors left enough dermabond on Jill to hold the world together. Gave her some pretty strong pain in her
shoulder and neck as well. More meds,
please!
·
Weekend
of 5/25 – The big haircut. This was one of the saddest days of all. There is nothing more challenging in the
cancer treatment for a patient than getting used to a new look – one without
hair. It was so hard to watch Jill cry
as we cut off each braid of hair – Addi watched as well in wonder. I don’t remember sleeping at all that night
thinking about how hard this was on Jill.
I wanted more than ever to just take all of this from her – I’d do it in
a heartbeat – just didn’t want to see her cry again.
·
5/29 –
Second chemo treatment. This round, we were a bit more prepared for the
routine. The side effects were worse,
but Jill did great. We sat next to
another patient who was terminally ill – very sad. His treatment was rough – every week, and the
outlook was not good. It was very humbling
– there are so many others in such worse situations –as bad as it is for Jill –we
are so grateful that we have options and time.
Some just don’t get that luxury.
·
Weekend
of June 4th – Anniversary. Because we couldn’t really get away, and
were still getting use to life on chemo, we booked a night up in Park City for
us and the kids. It was just far enough
to relax, and close enough to be comfortable.
It was really good for Addi too – it felt like we’d spent more time with
doctors than we did with the kiddos.
·
6/19 –
Third chemo treatment. This round
became more difficult as Jill began seeing blood in her urine – a kidney
infection. As well, she experienced very
severe back pain and required some additional tests and imaging –which didn’t find
anything (a good thing), but didn’t indicate there was anything else we could
do except stay ahead of the pain with drugs.
·
6/22 – Evacuated.
A major fire hit Saratoga Springs this week and over 1,000 homes were
evacuated. Friday morning of this week, we woke up to a huge cloud of smoke at
the top of the neighborhood and sirens throughout. We were evacuated shortly after 10AM and were
able to return the next day, telling the FIMA guard that Jill needed medicine –
yeah, it was bad, but totally worth getting back in our home. When we left, Jill was feeling very sick, and
very tired.
·
6/30 –
Spartan Beast. Us boys signed up for
the Spartan Beast – a 12.5 mile obstacle race.
We rented a home up in Midway, and Jill’s sister Stephanie and family
flew out. We had a great time, and Jill
was feeling great, with the exception of some digestive complications.
·
7/4 –
Fourth of July. Jill was feeling
great as this was her third week after the third treatment. We spent the day with family, and ended up
watching fireworks from Redwood Road.
Oddly, the better sight was the Quail fire in Eastern Utah County.
·
7/10 –
Fourth chemo treatment. This
treatment was definitely the most challenging treatment – the nausea got ahead
of us and we never seemed to get caught up.
Jill is usually down from Wednesday through Saturday – sleeping for just
about the entire day, taking anti-nausea medicine, Claritin and ibuprofen as
needed. This treatment, she didn’t start
feeling better until after Sunday – and at one point was foaming from the mouth
– feeling completely toxic. Not fun at
all. A huge thank you to her cousin
Natalie for flying out and spending time with Jill and the kids – we appreciate
you!
·
7/17 – Routine
Echo. With Herceptin, there are
risks of heart damage as it targets the rapid dividing cells with a specific
protein makeup – some of which are found in the heart. This was Jill’s third echo in a year, and all
checked out. Just glad this one wasn’t
in the Emergency Room like the last.
·
7/31 –
Fifth chemo treatment. This treatment was the most mentally challenging because
Jill was at her physical lowest point, and knew it wasn’t the last one. Because Jill struggled so much on the fourth
round, her doctor gave Amend and Aloxi as part of the treatment, and also
provided oral Zofran, to take with Prochlorperazine – which made a huge
difference. By Sunday, Jill was feeling
much better and ready to get out of the house.
Knowing the final treatment was just three weeks made SUCH a difference –
the end was in sight! We scheduled our
first meeting with her radiologist, to begin radiation in September.
·
Weekend
of 8/18 – A little Beach for the Birthday. In prep for final treatment, and
to celebrate Jilly’s Birthday, we flew down to Southern California to spend two
days in Newport Beach. This trip was so
incredibly relaxing – we spent plenty of time in the sand, ate great food, and
spent Saturday night in the sunset watching whales and dolphins just off the
shore. At this point, unfortunately, the
symptoms are still very strong – dry eyes, dry skin and finger and toenails
that are ready to fall off. Is it over
yet!?
·
8/21 –
Sixth chemo treatment. Just walking into the hospital, Jill started feeling
sick – the smell, the sound of the elevator – all too familiar to feeling
sick. Even before we were past the
waiting room, Jill was anxious and feeling nauseated. The effects were immediate – tons of Benadryl,
steroids and even more anti-nausea. It
was so liberating seeing Jilly ring the “I’m done” bell – the doctors gave us a
bottle of sparkling cider to celebrate :)
Looking ahead:
I couldn’t be more proud of you, Jill. She’s faced such a touch summer, and done it
with composure, grace and a positive spirit.
We’re not done with the battle, but we definitely feel like we’re out of
the woods. It’s Wednesday now and she’s
sleeping off the treatment – cannot wait for the weekend with her and the
kids! Once again, thank you to everyone
for their love and support. We love you
all.
