Carter’s Blessing
On June 16th, Father’s Day, we blessed our baby boy! It was such a beautiful sunny day, surrounded by family and friends. It couldn’t have gone better. Here are some pictures of Carter dressed all in white – as Addi would like to call it, Carter is in his wedding outfit. J
As a journal entry for myself, I was asked after the blessing to bear my testimony (surprise, surprise for me). I won’t put it all down as I don’t want to get too churchy, but I want my kids to be able to reflect back on this day and remember some of what I expressed to the congregation. I have a true testimony that everything happens for a reason, Heavenly Father has a greater plan in store for each of us, no matter how little or small it is. It sounds weird but I believe it can even come down to needing to sneeze or saying hello to someone. These small motions may put a thought in someone’s mind which then requires them to action it or not, but there is still impact there some way or another.
During this trial, I have never asked myself the question “Why me? Why do me and my family have to go through this? It’s too much, I shouldn’t have to be going through this, I have always been healthy…” The reason I don’t ask those things is because I know there are great things in store for us. Whether it is teaching me to be a better person, to take a step back – slow down and enjoy life. Not letting the small moments in life pass me by. Ability to let others serve me, since I like serving others and have had to learn to let others help me. It may also be so I can help others in the future through their trials and have more compassion and love for them. I am not sure exactly what it is, but overall, I am grateful for this experience. I may not be grateful on a daily basis especially right after my chemo treatments but I do believe my family, friends and I are being blessed by all of this.
Spartan Beast!
3rd Round of Chemo
On June 18th, I received my 3rd round of chemo. Everything went smoothly, my heart rate and vitals are back to normal and we used the Aloxi instead of the Emend(anti-nausa meds). Even though everything went well while sitting in the cocktail (chemo) chair this round of chemo hit me harder than the 2nd treatment. My red blood cell counts were very low 27% (if you reach 25-26% you receive a blood transfusion) so I was anemic to begin the treatment so as you could imagine, it knocked me down pretty quick and hard. I was face down on the couch for four days, asleep all but four-six hours a day. I hated it as I do not like to sleep my life away. I like to be able to get out of the house enjoy the sunshine, play with my kids, help others, run errands – feel like I accomplish something. I am hoping my next treatment, on July 10th will not kick my butt as much as this treatment did but I have been told over and over again, the treatments will get hard and it will take my body longer to recover…yuck!
Unplanned Side Effect
Thursday after treatment, June 20th, I was not feeling well. My body was exhausted, I was still sleeping a lot and then I began to receive a little bit of back pain. Come to find out I had blood in my urine and needed to start an antibiotic. At first, the doctor thought it was a kidney infection (I have never felt one of those before and my heart goes out to those who have) but after taking the antibiotic and not having any blood any longer the back pain came back in full force (pain scale from a zero to a nine within a matter of minutes) we ruled out with a urine culture it was not a kidney infection. After a CT scan and ultrasound we determined everything was normal. They don’t know what was causing the pain or the blood. The doctor told me that something’s just aren’t explainable but it is common for the neulasta shot and taxotere to have an allergic reaction and inflame the bones, so that is a possibility of what happened and the pain I felt.
I just truly hope that doesn’t happen again as I hate to take narcotics but when the pain is that severe I have no choice.
Fire Evacuation
The Friday after chemo, June 21st, our neighborhood received orders to evacuate do to a fire in the mountain above our home. It was not a pleasant day as I wasn’t feeling well from the “not so much kidney infection” and couldn’t move easily. Luckily Justin was working from home that day and with the help of his Mom, they both got us out of the house quicker than I ever could. We stayed at Justin’s Mom’s house for the day so I could rest and then spent the night at my Dad’s. It was a nice set up for us in these conditions but nothing is like our own home and bed. We couldn’t wait to get home to know that our home was safe from smoke and any fire damage.
Family Time
My Sister, Stephanie and her family from Pennsylvania were in town for a quick summer visit to spend some time with me prior to my 4th chemo treatment, so we decided to spend some time as siblings up in Midway, Utah. We rented a nice house and had a big slumber party. It was like to good old days when we were all young and living in our parent’s house. Not to mention all the grandkids had a blast and didn’t want to leave. I truly enjoy all the time I get with my family. There is nothing better than enjoying the grandkids and reminiscing about old times with my siblings.
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| Kids building another bridge in the backyard. |
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| Sister's Family - The Kozels |
What an amazing accomplishment Justin and my Brothers (Mark, Todd and Jordan) did. They ran the Spartan Beast – 12.5 miles with 25 obstacles with little training for the event. It was so fun to get out in the sun and enjoy the day with my family. I got great pleasure watching each of them cross the finish line together as a team. It gives me so much strength knowing they set out to finish this daunting task and were able to finish it, even though at times they all wanted to quit do to the exhaustion. It gives me courage to keep going with my treatments, no matter how difficult they may become. It will all be worth it in the end. Just like the Spartan Beast finish line, I will get to celebrate my victory soon as well! I am really looking forward to August 21st, my last chemo treatment, when I get to throw a party to celebrate with all of my family and friends. Even though the journey won’t be 100% complete, as I will have to complete radiation once a day for 5 weeks, Herceptin every 3 weeks until May 2013 and last but not least take an oral antibiotic - Tamoxifen for 5 years. But at least the most difficult treatments will be complete! I am extremely proud of Justin for being such a great example to me and for finishing the race. I love you baby!
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| Aston & Ryker finishing the kids Spartan race |
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